Guidance, Comfort and Grace

<forgive the delay in most, moving across the country is tough!>

Five challenging wonderful months with Mission of Hope Haiti (MOH)!  Yes, I have been in my position on the MOH staff for almost half a year now.  The time has flown, but it took very little of that time to realize that I can’t do it.  I am simply not qualified to handle the size of the vision that has been set before me.  But I am also thrilled and excited because - believe it or not - I think that's exactly where God wants me to be. It’s a place where I must totally depend on Him for guidance, comfort and grace!  As humble as I thought I was coming into this, I have seen God doing unbelievable things on the island of Haiti; and (I say this reverently) God has knocked me on my rear and shown me how small a part I really play!  And so “He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30).”  That is becoming clearer to me everyday.  I need to step out of the way and let God move and act through me. I have to continually seek him in prayer and the Word to receive His guidance.  And I must get away, shut up and listen to Him so I may rest in his comfort.  Lastly, I must learn that as a sinner and a human, I am going to make mistakes, and I must fully recognize his grace in my life. 

            Guidance begins with the willingness to be led.  Pride likes to jump up and tell us how great we are, and how well we are doing even in spiritual matters.  Our prideful nature begins to essentially read our own news clippings and we step out in front of the guidance God has provided. The words of the Psalmist must be in our minds every day, “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your Spirit lead me on level ground (Psalm 143:10)!” We may dimly see the end goal in the foggy distance; but the Lord usually leads us clearly a few steps at a time.  He seldom illuminates the entire path, because we most likely could not handle it. I am continually learning to trust his guidance, taking the next step he shows me, even when my nature is screaming contrary.

            Comfort: we all need it, whether we think so or not.  People in leadership, and most people in their Christian walk, don’t like to ask for help.   Our society tells us we need to put on our big-boy pants and go to work, no matter how hard it is.  But that is not what the narrative the Gospel tells us.  We must depend on Him, and allow him to provide the comfort we need. Sometimes we must simply sit down and shut up, and allow him to quench our thirst and heal our wounds. His Word promises, “I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10b).” When we get to a point where we feel rundown, overwhelmed and exhausted, that is exactly when it's time to get alone with our Comforter and allow Him to breathe life into us.

            And then, grace.  We are not perfect beings and never will be (at least not in this life)!! This is a newsflash to many people, especially Christians who have been told for most of our lives that perfection (or maybe near-perfection, at least) is where we need to be.  But the Bible is clear that if it was up to us and our "perfection," we wouldn’t have a chance.  Thankfully, God sent his Son to live that perfect life we cannot, and to pay the price for sin - dying in our place for the imperfect lives He knew we would live.  That’s grace!  Grace is what allows us as followers of Christ to get off the ground, dust off our hind ends and move forward after we make a mistake.  It is also what allows us live for His glory in our Christian lives as well as all of our endeavors.  I heard Craig Groeschel say, “if you blame yourself for the decline, one day you might take credit for the increases.”  That is a clever and creative way of saying that it's already been paid for when we screw up, and it's all to God’s glory and credit when we succeed.  I close these thoughts with the refrain from a wonderful chorus:

Grace, grace, God’s grace,

grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

grace, grace, God’s grace,

            grace that is greater than all our sin!          

Lessons from a 4D Ultrasound

Last week, while driving a U-Haul from Oklahoma City to Fort Myers, I had plenty of time to think, probably too much - but sometimes that is good.  I can't say what did it, but something sparked the memory of a painful doctor's visit nearly three years before.  Rach and I went thinking our first baby was on the way.  We left with the doctor's disappointing report in our ears:  our "baby" was a only a mass of cells - a benign growth but no baby.  But the God had different plans; MollyDru arrived about nine months later; and so, as I drove along, I was reminded once again that she was a miracle baby.  (The whole story will be written but not today.)  My wandering mind then skipped to our first 4D ultrasound and a chance to get a really good look at our precious daughter.  The 4D ultrasound was incredible! I don't really know what 4D means, but it's somehow way cooler than 3D and you don't even need goofy glasses.  My mom and Rach's sisters were there to experience it with us, and we got our first glimpse of the little baby that would so radically change our lives.  It was amazing that even months from birth, we were able to see personality traits in that unborn girl that have been consistently carried forward in the nearly two years since her birth.  

As incredible an experience as it was, I was (believe it or not) distracted.  If I remember right, I was the only guy in the room on that particular visit and after the initial awe of seeing my daughter for the first time, my testosterone kicked in.  My awe shifted from MollyDru to the machine that was capable of making those pictures appear on the screen.  We returned several times, and I continued to be fascinated by the technology.  But that first visit I can remember being so distracted that Rach asked me if I was "okay."  Of course I played it off - not wanting to admit the truth at the time.  But I was really thinking about all the things I wanted to look at with that amazing machine.  It was like I was nine years old again, and wanting to take apart whatever I could get my hands on to see how it worked. Many different thoughts were going through my head:  What would a stomach look like? What about my kidney? Could I put that thing on my brain without causing damage, or at least too much damage? How did the technician get so good at maneuvering around to see the baby? What would puppies look like inside their momma?  Like I said, I was on the level of a nine year old.  The problem pure and simple: my focus was in the wrong place that day.  Yes, we should be thankful for God's common grace to all men, and the technology that comes from it.  But I should have been focused on the wonderful miracle of life that day - and not on the machinery that allowed me to see it.  The ultrasound tech, the 4D machine, and an insurance deductible were what allowed me to see her, but God had given us the gift of life in that little girl, and she was what I should have been celebrating that day.

For those of us in ministry - whether "official" or "unofficial," paid or unpaid -  we can sometimes be distracted as I was on that day at the doctor's office.  We can get caught up in what we are doing and get so focused on the "machine" - the systems with which we do ministry.  Systems, programs and planning are absolutely needed, but they cannot be the focal point for us.  That must be the lives being changed and affected by God's grace and mercy.  If the "machine" distracts us from that, we are so missing the point. We can never let the things intended to aid us in our goals keep us from achieving our goals.  The writer of Hebrews, in chapter 7, reminds us that "the law made nothing perfect."  If we could build systems and machines for ministry that were failure-proof, we would no longer need Him.  What we have to recognize and be reminded of is that God will so often take our best laid plans, most creative ideas, even our hardest efforts and shove them aside so He can accomplish what He wishes to accomplish.  The Law couldn't do it and never will.  God sent redemption through His Son in His own way.  As we share that gift we shouldn't allow our ways, as great as they may be, to ever become a hindrance to His ways.  I have a picture saved on my phone from those first 4D images of MollyDru, and every time I look at it I am reminded that, as cool as that machine was, the true wonder that day was my precious little girl.